


that's my wife!!!

by cpt_stvngrntrgrs



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Secretly Married, i tried to be funny im sorry, like it's not a secret but nobody knows, the b99 au nobody asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 23:16:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20161741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cpt_stvngrntrgrs/pseuds/cpt_stvngrntrgrs
Summary: Detectives Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff are rumored to be dating despite being married to different people. Well, at least they got the married part right. Wanda really should've asked first.





	that's my wife!!!

**Author's Note:**

> for scarlettjuicehansson on tumblr!! i'm so sorry this took so long ;-; thank you for sending this to me, i really enjoyed writing this! i hope you like it!

The detectives’ floor of the 72nd precinct was buzzing with activity as usual. However, instead of getting  _ actual work _ done, the detectives were merely entertaining themselves with  _ anything _ but work. 

Instead of its usual place in the middle, the desks were pushed to the side to make room for a bucket. A few of the detectives were sitting on their desk chair a good 20 feet away from the bucket, next to a bin full of crumpled paper. The game they settled on for today is fondly called “trash basketball”. The participants were to shoot papers crumpled into a ball into the trash as much as they could in a span of two minutes.

So far, the competition was a tie between Detectives Tony Stark and Scott Lang, who both managed to land 12 into the bucket. 

“Now get ready for your minds to be blown,” Detective Sam Wilson challenged, rolling his chair to the spot Tony just moved away from. Tony and Scott moved to the sidelines, smug grins all over their face, as the timer for Sam’s turn to start rang out.

Detective Natasha Romanoff let out a sigh and rolled her eyes, shifting her weight from one leg to another as she stood on the other side of the commotion. She doesn’t mind the fun things they do, she really doesn’t, but their boss will be back soon and they should really get started on work.

She heard a laugh beside her and turned to look at Wanda Maximoff, the secretary of their boss, looking at her. “Don’t give them that look. You know they’ll only make it longer if they notice you’re getting impatient.”

Natasha huffed a breath of air out, letting her lips curl into a smile after. “I just have a feeling that this is going to take them a while.”

She felt someone stand beside her and smiled at Sergeant Maria Hill as she faced the game in front of them. “I can tell them to stop, if you want. Knowing Tony, though, it won’t be pretty," she said with a chuckle.

Natasha and Wanda joined in on the laughter, both shaking their heads as they continue to watch the game. Although things like this are the norm in their precinct, admittedly, it is still very much an inappropriate waste of time. However, they were lucky to have a  _ very _ understanding boss who lets them get away with this sort of things. 

A couple of minutes later, just as Scott was chanting something along the lines of rematch, the elevator dinged and out came Captain James Rhodes and another man next to him. Captain Rhodes, called Rhodey by everyone, stopped and stood behind the bucket and cleared his throat.

“Fun morning?” he asked, his voice serious. His eyes, however, betrayed his tone, as everyone can see the teasing glint and look he threw his officers.

“The best. We’re sorry you missed it,” Tony shot back, winking at him. The two have been friends since joining the force together all those years ago - meeting at the academy. 

Rolling his eyes fondly, Rhodey held a hand up. “I have an announcement to make. As you all know, we had to rearrange our staff when Detective Daisy Johnson asked to be moved to another department,” Rhodey nodded at the empty desk. “Her replacement is Detective Steve Rogers, who came from the 88th precinct. Please make him feel welcome and at home,” Rhodey eyed everyone pointedly, clapping a hand on Steve’s shoulder, indicating for him to say something.

Steve gave everyone a warm smile and stepped forward. “As Captain Rhodes said, my name is Steve Rogers and I’m really excited to be working with all of you from now on. I look forward to getting to know everyone!” He bowed his head slightly as he took a step back again and looked at their captain.

Rhodey just shrugged and dismissed everyone, walking back to his office. Steve followed along for his briefing while everyone cleaned up the floor.

“He’s so hot,” Natasha heard Wanda fawn and watch the girl stare at Steve through the blinds of Rhodey’s office. Wanda looked back at Natasha, who just gave her a shrug.

\--

“How’s your day going so far?” Natasha asked as she approached Steve who was eating his lunch in the breakroom.

Steve smiled. “I didn’t get as much work done as I usually should have in the same timespan, but it was actually pretty great.”

Natasha snorted and finished chewing her sandwich before answering. “Stark bothering you?”

Steve shook his head, pondering over the question. “Not bothering, per se. I think he’s just an energetic man. Scott too.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“Definitely better than the old guys at the 88th though,” Steve assured her. Natasha chuckled.

“Of course we’re better! I’m surprised the city still haven’t forced half of those guys to retire already,” she joked. A comfortable silence fell upon them as they continued eating their respective food before someone approached them.

“Hi Steve! Welcome to our precinct! I’m Wanda, Rhodey’s secretary,” the girl extended a hand and Steve stood up to shake it. “Oh, what a gentleman,” Wanda gushed, shaking his hand a bit too long before taking a seat next to Natasha, who eyed her weirdly.

Steve sat back down as Wanda did. “Rhodey has told me about you! It’s nice to meet you.”

Wanda chuckled, nodding. “Likewise. So Steve, how are you liking it here so far?”

Having neatly putting his lunch away, Steve leaned back on the chair before answering. “I really like it here. I think this is one of the most fun days I’ve had in the office,” he confessed.

“Really? Nothing much really happened today, though. You should’ve been here when Natasha and Scott arrested a bunch of guys selling fake drugs. The ones who complained were so mad -” she cut herself off, giggling and shaking her head. “You should’ve seen it. It was a complete circus…” she trailed off, a happy glint in her eyes.

Steve chuckled. “Well, I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy my time here a lot,” he teased, winking at Natasha before standing up. “Wanda, I’m sorry to have cut our introductions short, but my break’s over and I have to go.”

Wanda pouted playfully. “Til’ next time I guess.” She smiled and waved at him as he went around the table and out of the break room. Once he was out of sight, Wanda breathed out a sigh and slumped in her chair. “My statement still stands - he’s  _ so _ hot.”

Natasha laughed in acknowledgement and took another bite of her sandwich, pulling out her phone to look through it.

“Such a shame though, he’s wearing a ring - I think he’s married,” Wanda continued, a dreamy look on her face. Natasha hummed in agreement, used to Wanda’s fawning over the detectives. She almost cried when Sergeant Thor Odinson moved to Special Crimes; her favorite eye candy slash human puppy slash office sweetheart being gone. It seems that she’s moved on to Steve to fill those roles.

\--

Two months into the working at the precinct, Steve found his transfer to the 72nd to be superb move. First of all, he gets to be with Natasha for a huge part of their day - and although they’re not really the type of couple who’s into PDA nor are they partners on the job, he enjoys seeing her when they’re both in the office. It also helps that they carpool every morning, though he does miss taking his bike. 

The people he works with are also very warm, welcoming, and fun. Tony, Scott, and Sam took it upon themselves to brighten up the precinct everyday. He knows not to mistake their fun nature, though - he’s worked with them as a team, and boy, are those three  _ brilliant _ detectives! Natasha and Hill’s duo, Steve assumed, is the most productive in the precinct. They’re focused most of the time, and keeps the boys in check. But of course, they let their fun side out once in a while to join in on the fun.

Steve took the morning off to go to the dentist and arrived at the precinct at lunch. He brought Chinese food for Natasha, knowing it’s her favorite. He dropped it off at her desk and she gave him a tired smile, only then glancing at the clock and noticing that it was past 12.

“You haven’t eaten yet?” Steve asked, nodding at the pile of papers in front of her. 

She shook her head and leaned back in her chair, looking up at him. “Nahhh, I haven’t got the time. I need to finish these to give to Rhodey by the end of the day.”

“Come on, I’ll sit with you while you eat your lunch. Take a small break then just come back for the rest,” he encouraged, holding out a hand. She smiled, rolling her eyes, and took it, walking to the break room. Steve smiled at Tony and Scott who were sitting at their desks and waving at him, briefly glancing at down at Natasha’s hand in his.

Steve sat with her as she ate, neither of them in a rush to go back to work. Sam is still out from his stakeout that started that morning and hasn’t returned yet, so he doubted that he’ll be on a case with his partner gone. “I’ll help you with some of your paperwork, if you want. Sam’s not here yet.”

Natasha thought about it while chewing her food before nodding. “Hill’s supposed to help, but she and Rhodey has been on some meeting the whole morning, I’m not sure what time they’ll be back.”

Steve nodded along and ate some of the shrimp Natasha fed him, listening to her talk about filing the paperwork for a meticulously long case that she and Maria just solved.

“Oh, I didn’t see you guys there,” Wanda’s voice rang out, in a tone that meant that she  _ definitely _ saw them in the break room. She was standing in front of the vending machine, but looking at them.

“Hi Wanda! Rhodey back yet?” Steve asked nicely, smiling at her as Natasha continued eating her food. Wanda shook her head and looked at her watch.

“He should be back soon, though. Do you need him for anything?” she tilted her head and took a step towards the vending machine, glancing at it while waiting for Steve to answer.

“No, not really. Just wondering,” Steve replied and Wanda hummed, choosing to get M&Ms and paying for it.

“If you do, just let me know!” Wanda smiled sweetly at them before walking out of the room.

Steve and Natasha stayed in the break room while waiting for their partners; neither really in the mood to work just yet. Natasha was feeding Steve shrimp and laughing when he’s moving around, making her chase him, when someone cleared their throat. Steve promptly ate the piece Natasha was hovering over his lips as Natasha cocked an eyebrow at the person at the door.

Maria Hill was standing there with a smirk, arms crossed over her chest. “Oh, you’re back. Give me a second and I’ll be with you; we’ll just clean up here,” Natasha told her, smiling.

“You go ahead, I’ll take care of this,” Steve said. Natasha tilted her head at him, about to protest, when he shook his head. “It’s okay, really. Sam’s not here yet anyway.” 

Natasha shot him a grateful look as she stood up and joined Hill, who’s still standing at the doorway, an unreadable look on her face. “What is it?” Natasha whispered as they made their way back to their desks.

Hill just shrugged, looking down at the files on her desk. “Nothing,” she replied, her tone teasing. Natasha rolled her eyes fondly and took a seat at her desk, both of them starting on their work.

\--

Steve was loading the precinct’s van with equipment that is needed for his week-long stakeout with Sam. He’s been getting along very well with Sam after working with him for a while now. This stakeout requires that they stay in their hotel room the whole day for a week, and both of them prepared for this with tons of video games and movies since they’re not allowed to bring phones or contact to the outside world unless it’s for an emergency. The criminal they’re tracking down is known as a paranoid, and the last thing they want is to be ambushed after showing up on some kind of radar.

“It’s kind of a bonding experience, really,” Steve told Natasha the night before, which got him a snort in return.

“I bet by the end of the week, you guys will be ready to rip each other’s throats out,” she teased, making Steve roll his eyes.

“I’ll miss you,” Steve said softly after a few minutes of silence as they watch TV. Natasha turned to him, a sad smile on her face, and cuddled close to him until she fell asleep. Steve secretly likes it when she falls asleep on him on the couch because that means he gets to carry her - bridal style - back to their bed.

Steve slammed the doors of the van shut and just stood there, panting. “I’ll miss you too,” he heard Natasha whisper behind him, making him turn around to see her. She was hugging herself with her arms, a small smile playing on her lips.

He stepped closer to her and took her in his arms and felt her wrap her arms around his waist and her falling on his chest. “I’ll be back before you know it,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. This would be the first time either of them would be away on an assignment for this long, and although she hates to admit it, Natasha is feeling a bit anxious about it. The criminals they’re trying to catch has been on their radar for so long but kept managing to escape, making them dangerous.

Natasha hummed and pulled back, standing on her tiptoes to peck Steve’s lips before stepping away. “Just… be careful, okay?”

Steve chuckled and stepped closer to her to kiss her one more time. “Always, babe.” He gave her a wink, making her smile and roll her eyes as she turned around to go inside the precinct, nodding at Sam as they passed by each other.

“What’s up with Romanoff?” Sam asked as he approached Steve.

“She’ll just miss me, is all,” Steve laughed, getting into the driver’s seat as Sam went in the passenger’s side. Sam narrowed his eyes at Steve, who returned his look with confusion.

—

“Psst, Natasha,” a voice called as Natasha was walking to her desk. She frowned, looking around for the source of the voice. Truth be told, she’s tired. Steve has been away for four nights already and she’s been getting more and more restless each night without him. She saw the door to the evidence room to be ajar and decided to check it out.

When she got in front of the door, her arm was yanked in by Wanda, who shut the door immediately once she’s inside.

“What the hell, Wanda!” She whisper-yelled. She loves Wanda, she really does, but she’s just not in the mood for her antics right now. She leaned down on the wall opposite the other girl, crossing her arms across her chest.

“I’m only telling you this because I love you, so don’t be mad okay?” Wanda said in a low voice. Natasha stared at her, trying to decipher what she’s going to say, before nodding. “I think you should stop seeing Steve.”

Natasha stood up straight, frowning. “Wanda, I’m-” 

“He’s married, Nat!” Wanda cut her off, eyes wide. “We don’t know to who, though. Rumor has it that Steve doesn’t bring her here because, well. She’s either ugly or she’s a bitch, maybe both,” Wanda shrugged nonchalantly, chuckling.

Natasha’s mouth fell open. What have they been talking about in the precinct?! And where have they been getting this from? Who in the world started the rumor that Steve’s wife -  _ her _ \- is ugly? And a bitch!

“Wanda,” Natasha said slowly, trying to recover from her shock. “Where did you hear this from?”

Wanda merely shrugged a shoulder. “People talk.” Natasha shot her an unamused look, making her sigh. “Okay, fine! Me and Fury’s secretary downstairs may or may have not looked him up on Facebook and we saw a photo of him with this blonde. It’s old, I think, because he looked younger. But that was his profile photo so we just assumed that he married her or something,” Wanda explained, looking down at her nails to hide the blush that spread on her cheeks.

Natasha pondered that for a minute. Steve doesn’t use Facebook anymore, not since he and Sharon broke up around 7 years ago. Huh. That photo is probably her with him then. Natasha can’t help but to let out a laugh - they really thought Steve is married to Sharon. And that she’s ugly and a bitch! Which aren’t true, of course. Steve and Sharon had a mutual breakup and occasionally, the four of them - with Sharon’s husband - would go to brunch together to catch up.

“And aren’t you married as well? To a cop, right?” Wanda piped up, as if she forgot about that information until that moment. Natasha didn’t answer, thinking about what to do. She could tell Wanda the truth, of course,  _ or _ she could play with it. She doesn’t really talk about her personal life all that much - her coworkers mainly know about the basics. They know that she’s married - not to who, that she has a house - not where, and that she has a cat - who they probably know more about from the pictures she shows them. 

Natasha didn’t really realize that her relationship with Steve is not public. Looking back to the couple of months Steve has transferred here, the two of them didn’t really bother announcing their status to the precinct; they just went on with their normal lives and routine.  _ However _ , she really is curious as to what lengths her friends are willing to go to stop the two of them from dating. So she decided to play with it.

“Yeah, I am.” she admitted to Wanda, who threw her a disappointed look, shaking her head mildy. Natasha sighed dramatically, “Why did you even think that I’m dating Steve?”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Everyone practically saw you two being all lovey-dovey the day he left, you know. Seriously, kissing in the open! What if both of your spouses see you! Tsk-tsk,” Wanda crossed her arms. “And do you really think we don’t notice how you two are always together? You guys aren’t even partners yet you spend a lot of time together here.”

Huh. Natasha didn’t even realize that last part. And she kinda feels bad by playing along - Wanda looks thoroughly distressed with their situation. “But Wanda, I love him,” Natasha confessed, biting her lip. “He just… makes me happy, you know? He completes me.”

Wanda sighed, striding across Natasha to put a hand across her shoulder. “That’s good and all, but I don’t know… maybe talk to him? It’s just, you guys are married to different people. I’ve been cheated on before and I hated that feeling. So please, do something about this, okay?”

Now, Natasha feels  _ really _ bad. But alas, she’s already in too deep; might as well finish it.

\--

Day six of Steve and Sam’s stakeout was surprisingly quiet. They’re both tired and anxious for the 24 hours left to finish so they could go home. So far, there has been no activity on the criminal they have under surveillance, so sadly, it looks like they have to complete the entire 7 days.

Steve sighed, lying on the bed after his shift of watching. Sam, who’s now perched next to the window with the binoculars, glanced at him. “I can’t wait to go home,” Steve groaned into his pillow.

“Mhm, must be nice. Going home to a loving wife and all,” Sam quipped.

“Yeah, I miss Nat,” Steve said with a dreamy look on his face, trying to imagine Nat’s reaction when he comes home tomorrow. Sam frowned at him, walking up from his spot to stand in front of Steve. Steve looked up at him. “Yes?”

“You know, Rogers, I never perceived you as someone who would cheat on your wife. How could you say that! You miss Natasha more than your own wife? Have you really no respect for her at all!?” Sam’s voice was low but he was seething. Steve gets to have someone to welcome him home - his wife - and he should be grateful! All that’s going to welcome Sam is a stack of unopened mail.

Steve opened his mouth to say something then closed it again. After pausing, he sat up straight, trying to stop himself from laughing. “Hold on, hold on. Are you saying that I’m cheating on my wife with Natasha?”

“What’s so funny, you bastard? Of course that’s what I’m saying! Unless you have more side-chicks we don’t know about!” Sam blew up. He’s getting crankier and crankier by the minute.

Steve tried to compose himself. Clearing his throat, he motioned for Sam to sit on the edge of the bed, and he did. “Sam,” he started, “I’m  _ married _ to Natasha. Natasha is my wife.” Steve confessed, saying the words slowly so they could sink in. Sam stared at him, unable to form words.

“No way, she’s married too!” was all Sam could muster up. Steve rolled his eyes and grinned.

“Well, I better hope so because she’s my wife,” Steve teased.

Sam blinked at him. “For real? You’re not shitting me?”

“Sam, when have I lied to you, man? I told you - I don’t lie.”

“Oh, so you just hide the truth, then?” Sam retorted.

Steve thought about that for a moment. “I don’t think we hid the truth, per se. We’re not really big on PDA and obviously, office PDA is inappropriate. I don’t know why we never got around to telling people about us. Natasha’s very private, and even though she loves all of you guys, you’ve never been to our house, right?” Sam shook his head. “Yeah. Now that I think about it, I guess that was one big detail we didn’t get to announce when I transferred. We really just went on with our normal routine and I guess we just didn’t get to telling you guys about it,” Steve smiled.

“You think?” Sam replied, finally smiling. “If that’s the case, then I’m happy for you. You guys are so cute together.”

Steve laughed, patting Sam on the back. “Thanks, Sam. And for the record, I would never cheat on Natasha -  _ god _ , no, I can’t even think about it - and I never did with my past relationships.” Sam nodded, feeling a whole new kind of respect for Steve - he knows he’s a man of his words and he felt bad for thinking so negatively about him in the first place. Well, can’t blame him - he didn’t know; and those two are so cute, what was he supposed to think about!

Thankfully, a couple hours after their little confrontation, the suspect showed up and a deal was about to go down. From what they learned over the past few days, this is the big transaction they were supposed to stop. They immediately called for backup and proceeded with the bust.

When the rest of the 72nd got there, they went on with the raid and successfully stopped the transaction. They got to confiscate a whole container van full of weapons ranging from guns to small bombs - smuggled by the man they were hunting for.

“Good job you two. Take the day off after this,” Rhodey said, walking past Steve and Sam and squeezing their shoulders. Steve and Sam patted each other on the back and chuckled. The six days and a half were rough - they had tense moments, but after it’s all over, they were good and ready for their day off.

Steve saw Natasha talking to Hill and Wanda, who for some reason, came with them. He walked away from Sam and went towards Natasha, hugging her from behind. He wrapped his arms around her waist and bent down to kiss her cheek before perching his chin on her shoulder. “I missed you,” he whispered to her ear.

Natasha  _ giggled _ and tilted her head to the other side so she could peck his lips. “I missed you too,” she replied, threading her hands into his that were resting on her stomach.

The look of shock and confusion on Wanda’s face made their display of PDA so,  _ so _ worth it. “Natasha, didn’t we already talk about this?” she gasped in horror. Always the drama queen, Wanda.

Steve raised an eyebrow at her. “What’s wrong with telling my  _ wife _ that I missed her?”

Wanda stared between the two then at Hill, who’s very calmly watching with a smile on her face. Wanda waved a finger between Steve and Natasha. “You two are… married… to each other?”

“Wait, wait, wait, who’s married to who now?” Scott interrupted, joining the group with Tony and Sam trailing behind.

“Steve and Natasha! They’re married to each other!” Wanda exclaimed. 

Tony looked taken aback. “Red’s married to him? I thought you said Steve’s wife looks like a  _ bitch _ .”

“And ugly,” Scott added, much to Wanda’s chagrin.

“Natasha is neither of those things,” Tony concluded.

Steve straightened up but kept his hold on Natasha. “Who said that?” he asked. Everyone looked at Wanda.

Wanda looked like a doe caught in the headlights. “I swear, I didn’t know you’re married to Nat! I saw a girl on Facebook-”

“Oh, that’s probably Sharon! And hey, she’s nice and pretty! She’s an ex, but we’re cool now. That photo was  _ years _ ago. I don’t even use Facebook anymore.” Steve chuckled. “Anyway, we’re sorry; we really should have informed you all sooner. We didn’t really think too much about making a big deal out of it. We really try to separate ourselves from each other when it comes to work because we have different systems and routines.”

Wanda slowly nodded. “Wait, but your last names-”

“Legally, my name is Natasha Romanoff-Rogers. I just go by Romanoff to make it easier for everyone.” Natasha answered with a shrug. “And Wanda? I’m sorry for lying to you.”

Wanda pouted for a moment. “It’s okay. It’s my fault that I gossip,” she threw a shy smile. “And I’m happy you guys are together, you’re really cute!”

“Alright, now that that is settled, we have to go back to the precinct. Come on, let’s go,” Hill spoke up after a minute of silence. They laughed and everyone made their way back to their cars.

“You can ride with me, I drove myself here,” Natasha told Steve. He still has his arm around her waist, with Natasha tucked to his side as they were walking.

“Okay, I’d love that,” Steve replied, leaning down to give her a kiss. Reaching into his pocket, he took out the key of the van and threw it to Sam. “You drive.”

Sam caught the keys and made a face. “Aw man. Now that we all know about them, they’re going to be all sweet now and I’m going to be the only single one left.”

Maria bumped Sam’s shoulder with her own. “You’re not the only one,” she whispered suggestively as she made her way to her car with Wanda.


End file.
